I had the opportunity to attend the Girl Boss Rally in NYC yesterday and it was an inspiring event filled with amazing women who are kicking ass and taking names. I want to share some of the stellar advice they shared about how to find confidence through self-care.
Moms Need to Give Themselves a Break
All moms are guilty of falling into the perfection trap, especially us high-achiever moms. But, while we might have gotten straight As in school, there’s no 100%s when it comes to mothering. We have to give up that control and that’s a hard thing to do.
Deborah Curtis, American Express, the mom of a 3-year-old daughter said you have to forgive yourself as a mom. In her words, “Give yourself a little bit of a break.” Because a 3-year-old isn’t going to remember this in a week.
Linda Wells, Chief Creative Officer at Revlon admitted, “Having kids and working is a mess.” (Just another reminder to give yourself a break. It’s hard to bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan when there’s a two-year-old hanging from your panty-hose-clad leg) In terms of work, she admitted that we always think everyone else has it all figured out. (Spoiler alert: They don’t.)
Self-Care Leads to Confidence
Psychologist Dr. Lauren Hazzouri offered her best self-care tips. She believes that taking care of your body goes hand-in-hand with your emotional health. Here are her simple tips for taking care of your body and soul:
- Put yourself on a sleep schedule
- Exercise every day to boost your serotonin
- Regulate your eating: eat 3 meals a day and 2 snacks
- Watch your thoughts: don’t buy into the negative thoughts. Thoughts only have value if you give them value
Take Responsibility for How You Feel
Joanna Coles, Chief Content Officer, Hearst had some of the best advice of the day. If you love fashion magazines, you know exactly who Joanna Coles is. She was the editor of both Cosmopolitan and Marie Claire. She is also the woman responsible for the Marie Claire feature, “What I Love about Me,” where women in a chosen city share their favorite parts of themselves. In a magazine industry inundated with heck out Philly’s installment here.
- “Do the work”: Complete your responsibilities and be proud of your work. This is the simplest road to confidence I’ve heard.
- “Don’t be an asshole.” In other words, treat people well and you will not only feel good about yourself, but you will be trusted and respected by others.
- If you take thinking of yourself out of the equating, you will be happier and more confident. Stop thinking about yourself; instead, think about your dreams, what you’re curious about, what you want to achieve. Don’t wallow in your emotions—get outside of your head and into your life
- Surround yourself with good people: spend time around the people who make you feel good. Cut out the people who don’t.
Love your Reflection
Tess Holliday, model and body positivity ambassador admitted that her advice seemed shallow. But I think there’s a lot more to it than that: when you don’t feel good about yourself, put on red lipstick. She also suggested to do the best with what you have—don’t beat yourself up if you can’t do more.
Supermodel Ashley Graham (who, by the way is so very stunning in real life) said that affirmations are important to her. We need to compliment ourselves, tell ourselves we’re doing a good job. While this might sound too much like Stuart Smalley from SNL, it really does work. According to a study, affirmations can help to boost our productivity. Read about it here.
Feel Like a Woman
I am a firm believer that mothers need to feel like women too. While caretaking is a 24/7 job, we have to balance that role with our identities. Famed Psychotherapist Esther Perel agrees with me. In a conversation about relationships, she revealed that a woman must need to be relieved from the burdens of caretaking to experience pleasure with her partner. In her words, “She can retrieve the woman from behind the mother.” Amen to that. Here are a few ways we can begin to feel like ourselves again.
What makes you feel most confident? Leave a comment below!